


Dear Diary

by FifiandBogart



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M, LGBT, LGBTQ, M/M, Multi, video games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:02:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 54
Words: 14,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28205784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FifiandBogart/pseuds/FifiandBogart
Summary: I started re-playing Stardew Valley for the 20th time, and my writer brain suddenly started coming up with scenarios. So obviously I had to write my ideas about my current playthrough, but I didn't want to get into a novel-sized story cause I didn't have THAT much to say, so I compromised with a genius little idea to make a diary-entry-style type thing :p I hope y'all enjoy!
Relationships: Abigail/Female Player (Stardew Valley), Elliott/Female Player (Stardew Valley), Haley/Female Player (Stardew Valley), Haley/Leah (Stardew Valley), Leah/Female Player (Stardew Valley), Maru/Penny (Stardew Valley), Sam/Sebastian (Stardew Valley), Sebastian/Female Player (Stardew Valley), Wizard | M. Rasmodius/Female Player
Comments: 6
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started re-playing Stardew Valley for the 20th time, and my writer brain suddenly started coming up with scenarios. So obviously I had to write my ideas about my current playthrough, but I didn't want to get into a novel-sized story cause I didn't have THAT much to say, so I compromised with a genius little idea to make a diary-entry-style type thing :p I hope y'all enjoy!

_Dear Diary <3_

Today I moved into grandpa's old farmhouse, in a tiny little place called "Stardew Valley".

I'll admit, when I first agreed to come down here, I was expecting... more...?

In my head I imagined a fresh, green meadow, a glistening, crystal pond, and vibrant flowers as far as the eye could see.

Maybe I shouldn't have let my mind get that carried away 'cause my heart just dropped when I arrived and saw what I was left with.

Rotting trees, sharp, jagged stones, and thick weeds climbing over anything and everything in sight! :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

I put on a good face for the mayor 'cause obviously I don't want to seem ungrateful for a free house and all that jazz...

I'm going to try and stay positive, but it's hard not to feel a LITTLE overwhelmed...

I spent my first day unpacking and getting settled in my new home while I tried to organize my thoughts of how I would be living here.

The mayor suggested going around town tomorrow and introducing myself to everyone, so I should go to sleep early tonight so I'm well rested for a new day! :) :) :) :)

One step at a time!

KISSESxo


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Diary <3

Dear GOD I wasn't ready for so many hot people!!!!!

I was expecting a town that has less than 30 residents to have pretty average looks, but most of these people have model potential!! :O :O :O

I was starstruck for the whole duration of my introductions!!

And they all seem so cool!!! And nice too!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Maybe I'll get used to this place faster than I thought! ;D

I don't wanna pick favorites just yet since I don't even know them at all, but if I had to rank them in terms of hotness level, it would be as follows:

1\. Elliott

2\. Sebastian

3\. Haley

4\. Leah

5\. Abigail

Elliott is so dreamy, with his long, majestic hair, but I get serious gay vibes from Leah, so maybe I have a chance there too!

Although, small towns are typically less... open to that kind of thing, or so I've heard, so I should tread carefully.

Wouldn't wanna be shunned by people I have to live with for the rest of my life! HA...HA...ha... ^_^;;;

BUT WHAT AM I SAYING?? It's WAY too early for romance!! >_<

Gotta get to know them all before I go making up scenarios in my head!

I should really be focusing on my farmland before I go rushing into relationships, and spring is the PERFECT season to plant crops!!!

Ahhhh I can't wait!!

KISSESxo


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Diary <3

I planted my very first crop 1 week ago today!!

It took 3 whole days just to clear enough space to make a place to till the soil! It was sweaty and excruciating work at first, and my hands were COVERED in blisters from the tools, but my skin seems to be getting used to whatever I require for it! ;P

I already feel like a bonafide farmer! :D

I haven't had much time to socialize with anyone other than a quick hello on my way to and from Pierre's, but I just gotta get my farm worked on first! I hope they all understand and they don't think I'm cold or stuck up or something!!! D: D: D:

THERE'S JUST SO MUCH WORK TO DO!!!! I HAVEN'T EVEN CLEARED AWAY 1/5 OF MY PROPERTY!!

I've been doing deep breathing exercises anytime I start to spiral in order to stay grounded and remind myself that Rome wasn't built in a day!

I've got time... ^_^

KISSESxo


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Diary <3

Tonight something AMAZING happened!!

It was the first rainy day since I moved in and I was SO EXCITED since it's my favorite weather! I spent the whole day by the window with my favorite book just listening to the droplets thrum against the windowpane. In the evening, I decided to sit outside on the porch for awhile and watch the water trickle gently over my growing crops during sunset.

That was when I heard it...

The most indescribable sound I'd ever heard it my entire life...

At first I was convinced that I had imagined it. My body froze and I sat there, listening intently, willing whatever had made that sound to make it again.

Just when I was about to give up and go back inside, I heard it again - A call that penetrated my senses and reverberated through my very SOUL!

Goosebumps erupted all over me and my legs burst into a sprint all on their own! I didn't even know where I was going, all I knew was that something had resonated inside me very strongly, and I couldn't stop until I found the source of that sound!

I followed the call as it drew me deeper into the forest, until I reached an old stone tower, hidden from the town...

I just stared at it for who knows how long with my heart pounding harder and harder the more soaked my clothes became. Finally, I got up enough courage to approach the door and knock timidly. There was no answer, so I knocked again, a little louder this time. Still no answer, so I boldly grasped the knob and turned - locked.

When it was clear I wasn't getting in today, I turned around in a huff and begrudgingly made my way back home.

I just walked in the door 2 seconds ago and didn't even take the time to dry off before writing this entry. I CAN'T forget about this...

There are some very strange things going on in this valley, and I won't stop until I unravel EVERY mystery and discover EVERY secret this land holds!

And so, resolutely, I look towards the future!!! ;D ;D

KISSESxo


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Diary <3

It's the first day of summer WOOHOO!!!!!!!

Spring just FLEW by in a flurry of hard work and making friends! My crops have already begun to improve in quality, and I've finally managed to save up enough money for my very first chicken coop!! YIPPEEEEE!!

Robyn seems proud of me and my progress. and she promised to get started on building my coop first thing tomorrow morning!! EHEHE!!! I cannot WAIT to get my first chicken! I already know exactly what I'm going to name it: Omelette!

A farm simply ISN'T a farm without any animals around!

That's why they call chickens+cows+horses+sheep 'farm animals'!!! ;P

Mayor Lewis showed me the old Stardew community centre earlier, but it seems no one uses it anymore which is really too bad :(

The inside of it is a bit rundown and dusty, but I can definitely see potential! Maybe one day someone will get it all fixed up and everyone will see what a nice place it is to spend time! ^_^

The only unfortunate thing is it seems to be infested with some kind of rodent or something. 'cause I saw something scurry out of sight the second Major Lewis and I walked in!

And first I thought it was green! Haha! But that MUST have been my eyes playing tricks on me!

Or perhaps it was more weird phenomenon? Must make a note to investigate that tower again at some point... For the hundredth time... With the same results... Isn't that the definition of insanity...? Hmmmm :S

KISSESxo


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Diary <3

I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MAGIC IS REAL!!!!!!!!!

I ALWAYS SENSED IT DEEP DOWN AND I WAS RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okokok let me back up a second...

OMG I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO EVEN START!!!!!

Okay, I got a letter this morning from someone I didn't know asking me to visit the tower ASAP and my mind EXPLODED!!!

I rushed over without even checking on my animals (beg for forgiveness tomorrow) and my entire body was shaking!!!

But nothing could have prepared me for what I experienced!!!!

I met...

A WIZARD!!!!!!!!!

And not just a random weirdo who claims to BE a wizard, I'm talking the real thing!!! I saw him do magic right in front of me!!!!!!!

Omgomg his named is Rasmodius and he is SOOOOOOOO SEXY!!!!!!!

I could barely breathe around him I was so enamored!!!!!

Okay okay, me, take a deep, calming breath... I know your life has just changed forever and everything you always believed in turned out to be true, but this is no time to lose your mind...

WHAT AM I SAYING???????? IT'S THE PERFECT FUCKING TIME TO LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND!!!!!

MAGIC!!!!!!!!

IS!!!!!!!!!!!!

REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE AND RUN BRB!!!!!!!!!

OKAY I'M BACK! PHEW, IT'S BRISK OUT THERE THIS EVENING!!!!!

Anyway where was I?

Ah yes, Rasmodius (blushing profusely right on cue)

He was so mystical and otherworldly and handsome.... He's like no one I've ever met... SIGH

He told me everything about what I've been ACHING to find out these past few weeks... The strange green creatures in the community centre are apparently called Junimos and they're honest to god FOREST SPIRITS!!!!!! I'm talking SUPERNATURAL BEINGS!!!!!

Not only that, but the calls that I've obsessed over to the point where they keep me up at night was HIM!!!!!!! He knows how to speak to other magical species, but only when it's raining for some odd reason...

He seemed to sense something powerful in me, because he handed over a little bit of his magic to me and gave me the ability to communicate with the spirits just like he does...

I feel... very strange...

It's like nothing has changed and yet the entire world has been flipped sideways!!!

Can't let myself get overwhelmed, just when things are getting MARVELOUS!!!!!!

I wanna see him everyday but I don't want to be a bother to him either.... Hmmm.... Guess I can just visit and see what happens? Yeah that's what I call a GREAT IDEA ^_^;;;

KISSESxo


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Diary <3

BAHAHAHAHAHA

THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MAYOR LEWIS AND MARNIE ARE LEGIT DOIN' IT!!!!!!!!

I CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!!!!!!!!!!!

It all started a few days ago when the Mayor made a VERY odd request and asked me to find his SHORTS???? I mean, wtf amiright??? Who loses their CLOTHES outside??? I was thinking to myself that he just took them off randomly when he was out walking and then went home in his underwear??? Hahaha but it was the only explantion I could think of!!!!!

But the REAL answer... Was FAR more juicy ;) ;) ;)

I FOUND THE MAYORS SHORTS JUST LYING ON THE FLOOR IN MARNIE'S ROOM AHAHAHAHAHA

How long were they just hanging out in plain sight on her bedroom floor, one might ask, but one might not like the answer, so one must be satisfied making shit up xD

Anywaaaaaaaay.... It was a really awkward situation 'cause I had to pick up the shorts with my bare hands, and can I just say EW?!?!?!?! Trying to sneak them out of the house may have been one of the lowest moments of my life, but I'm glad it's over now...

And now I know something no one else in town knows... >;)

But it's no fun anyway since the Mayor swore me to secrecy...

I don't know why they wanna hide it so bad....

Oh right... Shane... He might not take it so well cause he's such an ass

SERIOUSLY!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT GUY'S DEAL?????

Every time I so much as SMILE at that prick, he just snarls at me to get the hell away from him!!??

Ugh I hate him so much...

AND HALEY TOO!!!!!

WHAT A STUCK-UP BITCH!!!!!

I can't even TALK to her without her insulting how gross and dirty farming is and it PISSES ME OFF!!!!!!

What is SO WRONG with wanting to feel connection to the EARTH?!?!?!

IT'S THE PLACE WE ALL LIVE AND PEOPLE THINK IT'S DISGUSTING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Okok inhale, exhale...

I just have to remember that not everyone in town is a jerk....

Ah, Elliott *swoon*

Ah, Leah *swoon*

Ah, Sebastian *swoon*

And with those newly formed good thoughts in my head, I should have sweet dreams... ;) ;)

KISSESxo


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Diary <3

I AM!!!!!!!!!

IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!

WITH MY NEW LIFE!!!!!!!!!!

I have been given a top secret mission from the Junimos and I am READY AND WILLING!!!!!!

They seem to be under the impression that I am a wonderful human being who is worthy of helping them magically restore the community centre to its FORMAL GLORY!!!!

AND THEY'D BE RIGHT!!!!! I AM AMAZING!!!!!!!!!

Haha but seriously, all joking aside, I'm truly honored they have faith in me...

And they aren't even asking something that's all that difficult!!!!

I'm gonna be farming anyway, and all they asked is a few offerings here and there from my experience as a farmer!

I know I'm still learning, but the more crops I grow, the more fish I catch, and the more time I spend training in the mines are making me one HECK of a capable candidate for the Junimos request!!!

I'M GONNA LEAVE SOME OFFERINGS FIRST THING IN THE MORNING!!! My tomatoes should be about ready to harvest by then!!!

LETS DO THIS WOOOOOO!!!

KISSESxo


	9. Chapter 9

Dear Diary <3

WHY AM I SO ANGRY?!?!?!?!

THIS IS SO STUPID AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I decided to visit Rasmodius today 'cause, you know... he's sexy ;p and he has finally started to open up to me more and more!

Mostly because I keep bringing him magical objects from the mines that he says is super helpful in his potion making (GO ME!)

ANYWAY!!!!

We were chatting casually (and I was most definitely NOT staring at him dreamily) when he just drops a freaking BOMBSHELL about the fact that he has a DAUGHTER?!?!??!?! AND IT'S SOMEONE IN TOWN?!?!?!?!!?

WHY DOES THAT MAKE ME SO IRRATIONALLY FURIOUS??!?!

I guess I just assumed that human women were... I dunno... not special enough for him to take notice of??? He sure hasn't shown any interest in ME yet *grumblegrumble*

So who the FUCK would be good enough for him to sleep with!?!?!!?!?!?!??

AND WHO IS THIS DAUGHTER?!??!?!?!

The first person that came to mind was Abigail... but only because they have the same hair color... Although I'm pretty sure I've heard her say she dyed it...

Hmmmm..... That also begs the question of how old Rasmodius actually is...

'Cause I suppose it COULD be one of the older women in town...

I can't even IMAGINE what he'd be like in bed... And how it would even lead up to that in the FIRST PLACE!!!!!

UUUUUUUUUGH I'M SO JEALOUS!!!!!!!

Maybe I'll set up Racer with her saddle and go for a late night ride to clear my head... *sigh*

KISSESxo


	10. Chapter 10

Dear Diary <3

Hehehehehehehehehe

I've been spending a lot of time with Elliott lately... -^_^-

And Sebastian... And Leah... And Abigail... Heh heh heh...

I can't help it, they're just... so... so.... GAH!!! You know what I mean???

It's really hard not to catch feelings for all of them ^_^;;;

I've been learning new things about them all the time!

For example, Sebastian owns a MOTORCYCLE which, obviously, made me instantly fantasize about him in tight leather pants, racing down the highway... EEEEEEEEEEE!!!

As for Elliott, I heard him playing his piano for the first time and my jaw DROPPED!! I knew he was talented, but MAN!!! The way his long, elegant fingers just danced over the keys had me MYSTIFIED!!!

He's so suave!!!!

Leah seems to be having some trouble with a nosy ex, which sounds like a lot of drama to me... I accidentally walked in on them having a very loud argument on the phone and it seems her ex is trying to get her back GAG! I hope that she's okay...

She seemed a little out of it when I left :( :( I'll have to bring her some fresh goat cheese in the morning to cheer her up >_<

Abigail is just all around fun to be with! She's so weird :p

I found out recently that she likes video games, which REALLY surprised me! I thought she was all about darkness and death and eating rocks and stuff hahaha!

We had a wonderful time playing together all afternoon a couple days ago!

There's a lot more to these wonderful people than I ever would have expected!

I've been here half a year, and it took awhile to gain their trust, but now that they know me better, I really love seeing the smiles on their faces when they see me! Hehehe!

I must make a note to not spend ALL my time with only the people I'm attracted to and actually make an effort to hang out with EVERYONE ;p

KISSESxo


	11. Chapter 11

Dear Diary <3

If I washed my skirt every single day for the rest of my life, I STILL wouldn't get all the slime stains out...

BUT IT WAS WORTH IT!!!

I finally made it through every single floor of the mines!!

What a wild ride that was... I came close to death SO MANY TIMES HAHA!

But I've got a pretty good handle on my sword skills now, so those creatures ain't got NOTHING!

I was kinda expecting a bit more of a reward or SOMETHING, but all I found was some random key???

I asked around town, but nobody seems to recognize it or know what it's for, not even Mayor Lewis!!

I guess I'll keep it with me for now, but I'm a little disappointed :p

Maybe just maybe the key will open up some HUGE treasure chest somewhere hidden deep in the secrets of this town, and all my hard work will be repaid, but I'll just wait and see ;)

KISSESxo


	12. Chapter 12

Dear Diary <3

Today marks a momentous occasion!

I FINALLY collected each and every animal available from Marnie's barn!!

It'll take quite a long time to feed and groom them all every morning, but oh my GOSH are they ever PRECIOUS!!!!!!!!!!

Don't tell the others, but I think the baby rabbit I got today has become my new favorite...

Those floppy ears and poofy tail are to DIE FOR!!!!!!!

But of course I still love them all equally! Just cause Snana is the most adorable doesn't mean I'm gonna give her special treatment ;)

I told Emily about it when I went over this afternoon, and she says it's a very unique rabbit breed that has such a thick coat that I can actually brush off enough to make cloth!!!

WHICH MEANS NEW CLOTHES!!!!!!!

I don't know WHAT I was thinking not bringing many outfits, but I kinda miss dressing up in a brand new shirt every now and then...

Emily has been sewing her own stuff for a long time, so I'm sure I can learn some tips and tricks from her! :D

KISSESxo


	13. Chapter 13

Dear Diary <3

I am absolutely REELING tonight!!!!!!!

What!!! A!!! Day!!!

Leah stopped by first thing in the morning JUST to give me a present!! It was a sculpture that she created from wood and she actually named it after me!!!

Oh my goooooooooooooosh she's sooo talented!! I'm HONORED to have her care about me enough to name a PIECE after lil' ol' me! Heehee!!!

But that wasn't the only big thing that happened today!!

Elliott was finally able to finish his novel!

And at the reading this afternoon, that EVERYONE IN TOWN SHOWED UP TO, he legit DEDICATED his entire book to me!!!!

Which just so happens to be in the romance genre!?!?!

Should I be... 'reading' into this?! (heh heh heh ;P)

Seriously though!!! I've only been here for 3 and a half seasons and I'm already making such a huge difference in this town...

And I've never had so many suitors before at one time... Makes my heart beat all aflutter...

Good times!

KISSESxo


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Diary <3

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!

WHY!??!! DOES HALEY!?!?!? HATE ME SO MUCH?!?!?!?!?!?

I was SO EXCITED about my harvest of cranberries that were FINALLY ready to pick, and they were fresh and juicy and sweet and I was SO EXCITED to share them around town!!!

BUT NOoOoOoOoOoOoOOOOoOoOo!!!!!

"Ugh! That's such a stupid gift!" she says!!!!!!

LIKE, BITCH WHAT?!?!?!?!

I GIVE YOU A SAMPLE OF THE FRUITS OF MY LABOR, THAT I GREW FROM AN ITTY BITTY SEED, AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO FUCKING BE POLITE ABOUT IT?!!??!

Like, I wouldn't even mind if she hated cranberries, cause they're not everyone's favorite fruit, but at LEAST turn it down respectfully!!!

Is it really so difficult to say "Oh, no thanks, I don't really like cranberries"?!?!?!?!?!

I work really hard on my farm and I just... I just want to give back to the town and the people who gave me this new life... So being insulted AND having a gift rejected so rudely all at once kinda hurts...

God, she's so MEAN!!!

How can someone so gosh darn GORGEOUS be so.... AWFUL!?!?!?!? GAH!!!!!

Time for another hour long ride on Racer to calm down *grumblegrumble*

KISSESxo


	15. Chapter 15

Dear Diary <3

Oh my goooooosh my world has been EXPANDED!!!!

Helping out the Junimos has been such a blast so far, and every now and then they give me a little assistance in return!

Last night, they worked their little butts off fixing up the old bus that's been stuck in the same place since I moved in.

AND NOW IT'S UP AND RUNNING FOR GOOD!!!

The SECOND Pam arrived at the bus stop, I took my first visit to the Calico Desert OoOoOOo!

I met a lovely woman who works there named Sandy and she's so STUNNING!!

Obviously I have to make my way over there more often ;)

And since her and Emily are already good friends, it'll make bonding with her that much easier!

Unfortunately the sand mines over there are on a whole other LEVEL than the ones we have here!

The rocks are so hard that it takes multiple hits, even with my golden pickaxe!!!

And the MONSTERS!!!! They scare me!! D: D:

One bite from that flying serpent and my entire arm exploded with a pain that the monsters in Pelican Town could only DREAM of inflicting!

I really shouldn't go back in there until I am 1000% confident that my combat prowess has been perfected...

All the MORE to aspire to! :D :D

KISSESxo


	16. Chapter 16

Dear Diary <3

Winter is a bit of a drag, being a farmer of the land...

Can't grow crops... can't let my animals frolic... nobody wants to spend any time outside...

It's beautiful in all its glittery whiteness, don't get me wrong, and I've been catching more fish than anybody could eat in their lifetime, but...

I dunno... I just feel like I'm stagnating a little bit... Siiiiiigh...

Although, my one year anniversary is coming up fast and I'm just DELIGHTED!!! :D

I don't wanna get my hopes up, but I wouldn't be opposed to it if anyone decided to throw me a party ;P ;P

Just kidding... but not really haha!

And I've never been more excited for the first day of spring in my LIFE!

I just wanna get back to planting waaaaaah!!!

KISSESxo


	17. Chapter 17

Dear Diary <3

Wow... just wow...

A whole YEAR has gone by... So many emotions are running through me this evening...

The friends I've made, the animals I've raised, and all the time and effort I've put into transforming my property from a wasteland to something I can be proud of...

I better be careful or I might just spontaneously burst into tears haha...

But seriously, I'm feeling so... full...

Full of warmth and unity...

This place has truly become my home...

The first day of spring starts tomorrow and I cannot WAIT to wake up early and get RIGHT back into that sweet, sweet dirt!

KISSESxo


	18. Chapter 18

Dear Diary <3

Oh my GOODNESS something weird happened this morning!!!

So, last night while I was sleeping, I was woken up by a REAL weird sound that I thought I imagined... Almost like someone... laughing outside???

It was so bizarre that I just pegged it as the remnants of a dream and went back to sleep...

BUT THIS MORNING!!!!!!

I went to check on my precious pets in the coop, when I noticed that one of their eggs had turned BLACK?!?!

I was SO CONFUSED and I almost tossed it cause I assumed it had just rotted overnight SOMEHOW, but when I looked closer, I noticed that it had mysterious red speckles on it?!?!

Never before had I seen something so strange, and I've seen a lot of weird shit in this valley...

I ALMOST went to Rasmodius to ask about it, but he's been a little pushy lately...

Ushering me out as soon as I walk in and being short with me when I try to talk to him...

Maybe I've been bothering him too much by going over so often... I know he's super busy with his studies and everything... I just... I just want him to like me... :( :(

SIGH!!!!

God, I'm such a mess when it comes to him...

But enough pouting!!

I thought it would be an interesting experiment to put the black egg in the incubator, so hopefully my coop doesn't explode and everything turns out okay... ^_^;;;

KISSESxo


	19. Chapter 19

Dear Diary <3

WOWIE ZOWIE!!!!!!

That egg, I dunno WHAT was done to it or if someone tampered with it or WHAT THE FUCK happened, but it actually HATCHED TODAY!!!!!!!!

A black chick... with feathers as dark as coal... I'm completely BAFFLED!!!!!

Other than the unusual coloring, the chick SEEMS to be perfectly normal and functioning...

She eats hay like usual... she can walk around just fine... and she SEEMS to be getting along with the other animals so far...

I made sure to watch over her all day just to see if she's healthy, and everything seems to be okay! :D :D

ILOVEHERILOVEHERILOVEHER!!!!

She's so unique and mystical that I had no choice but to name her Rasmodius2...

I know I know, I'm obsessed...

Don't tell him, okay? ;)

KISSESxo


	20. Chapter 20

Dear Diary <3

WHY IS THIS SO IMPOSSIBLE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I AM SO FREAKING FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those stupid sand mines in the desert are absolutely INFURIATING!!!!!!!

There's no elevator in between floors which is already hard enough, but the fact that I'm expected to get through 100 entire floors in 1 DAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

BELIEVE ME, I'VE TRIED, BUT THERE JUST ISN'T ENOUGH TIME!!!!!!!!

I've been at the bus nearly every day for an entire week at 10am SHARP waiting for Pam, and then I go STRAIGHT for the mines, and I use bomb after bomb after bomb, but by 2am I've BARELY made it down 70 floors!!!!!!!!

IS THERE SOME KIND OF SPECIAL TRICK TO THIS OR SOMETHING 'CAUSE I'M REALLY TRYING AND I JUST CAN'T MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess I'll have to stockpile a SHIT TON more bombs and food before I try again...

I'm so discouraged... maybe I'll give myself a break and just spend some time with friends over the next few days... It's been awhile since I've seen Elliott and Leah and everyone... I miss their gorgeousness ;P

KISSESxo


	21. Chapter 21

Dear Diary <3

JUST when I thought that I'd seen it all and nothing could get any weirder, another thing throws me for a loop!!

I don't know why I keep hearing strange noises in the middle of the night so much this year, but it happened again!!

It wasn't laughing this time, but more like... I don't even KNOW... Clicks and beeps and whirring of some kind???

I don't wanna say UFO, but it was exactly what I always imagined UFOs to sound like...

It was so freaky, I didn't sleep well for the rest of the night!!! And I would have gone outside and checked, but:

1\. It's pitch black here at night with no city lights.

2\. I was FREAKED OUT, OKAY????

Just 'cause I'm USED to the bizarre at this point doesn't mean I'm gonna go running head first into things I have ZERO knowledge about.

AAAANYWAY!!!

I decided to look around when the sun came up, and there was some weirdness over by my greenhouse....

I don't wanna get too close 'cause it looks SOGROSS, but there's some icky, pulsating machine of some kind?!!?!?

I'll leave it for now, since it's not really in my way...

But if ANYTHING CHANGES, I'LL BE READY TO DEFEND MY FARM NO MATTER WHAT!!!!

DON'T MESS WITH ME, POTENTIAL ALIEN SCUM!!!!

KISSESxo


	22. Chapter 22

Dear Diary <3

I'm getting BAD VIBES RIGHT ABOUT NOW!!!!!

Willy made me SUPER uncomfortable earlier...

I went into the shop to sell off a few fish to him, when he started chatting a bit about the products and such...

BUT THEN!!!

He turned away from me to stare at the locked door at the back of his shack, and he said something along the lines of "There's an old friend waiting in there... You'll meet her soon"?!?!?!

LIKE AHHHHHHHHH??????

I don't know WHY, but it sounded so ominous and foreboding that my skin started crawling?!?!!

I really haven't spent all that much time with him since I came here, but I always assumed he was just a regular, sweet old man...

But now I have a really bad feeling... I'm sure I'm just overthinking things and he really IS just a nice guy but... I feel a tad bit peculiar about the whole exchange... >_>

This year is WEIRD, MAN!!!!!!

KISSESxo


	23. Chapter 23

Dear Diary <3

OH DEAR GOD OH DEAR GOD OH DEAR GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M PANICKING FOR MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THAT PULSING MACHINE!!!!! BY MY GREENHOUSE!!!!!

IT'S EMPTY WTFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There's broken glass all around it like something inside broke out and bolted away somewhere!!!!!

WTFWTFWTF

IT COULD BE ANYWHERE AT THIS POINT!!!!!

AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okokok just try to calm down...

All I have to do is keep my eyes peeled... Don't let my animals roam around for awhile... and sleep with my sword RIGHT BESIDE MY BED...

I'll get through this...

OH! I should probably tell the mayor about this...

I hope he doesn't blame ME for it!!! :O :O :O

But keeping my friends safe is way more important than a lecture or two...

*SIGH*

KISSESxo


	24. Chapter 24

Dear Diary <3

HOLY SMOKES THIS 2ND YEAR WENT BY SO FAST!!!

Probably helps that my greenhouse kept me busy with crops throughout the winter so I wasn't SO bored! :D

Going into my 3rd year tomorrow... Wow... Time sure flies when you're having fun!

No sign of that alien(?) yet, but I haven't let my guard down...

It would probably be a good idea, now that I'm getting super close with everyone in town, to finally start admitting my feelings...

LIST OF CURRENT CRUSHES:

1\. Rasmodius

2\. Elliott

3\. Sebastian

4\. Abigail

5\. Leah

And...

6\. Haley...

I KNOW I KNOW BUT SHE'S CHANGED!!!

Since Emily and I have been hanging out and experimenting with a bunch of different ways to make clothes, I decided to bring over a few fancy gems I found in the mines, and they kinda caught Haley's eye.

She seemed so interested in them that I gave her an amethyst, and ever since then she's been WAY nicer to me???

I'm still wary 'cause she may just be trying to get me to give her more expensive gifts, but I prefer THAT over insults and constant condescending attitude... So... for now I guess I don't mind giving her things I pick up...

SHE'S SO GOD DAMN PRETTY MY GOD

Anyway, there are also a few people that I'm not all THAT into, but they're CLEARLY into me, so maybe I'll keep an open mind?

It's kinda cute to hear them all talking about how fun it would be to one day live on a farm ;)

I'm picking up what you're putting down, y'all! ;D

Apparently Pierre sells bouquets to give to potential love interests, so... I may buy a few and give them to... all the single people...?

Who knows? Maybe seeing how they all act in romantic relationships will let me see many different sides to them all that may even change how I feel...

CAN'T WAIT TO DATE! ;D

KISSESxo


	25. Chapter 25

Dear Diary <3

Oh... My... GOSH, WOMEN ARE LOVELY!!!!!!!!

Went to the beach today and I ran into Haley!

We're on much better terms now, so I was actually super giddy to see her!

I helped her find a very sentimental bracelet that she dropped somewhere, and she was so grateful that she jumped into my arms???? .O_O.

She just smelled so good and her skin was so soft oh my god... I can't seem to get her out of my head after today...

BUT SHE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE FRESH IN MY MIND!!!

I just got home from the graveyard... Where I was hanging out with Abigail... Apparently she likes doing that in her free time, which REALLY doesn't surprise me in the least.

With nothing but the soft glow of the streetlights, it really hit me how pretty her lips are... They're such an appealing pink that really stands out on her perfect pale face...

I was THISCLOSE to kissing her right then and there, but I haven't gotten around to buying bouquets yet, so that would be REALLY uncalled for...

AbigailHaleyElliottSebastianRasmodiusAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

They're all driving me WILD!!!

Okay, FIRST THING TOMORROW I'M GONNA GRIT MY TEETH AND JUST DO IT!!!

BOUQUETS FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED SOME SWEET LOVIN' ;D ;D ;D

KISSESxo


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I started playing Stardew 4 years ago, I've had 11 play-through's, and I have never ONCE completed the community centre before... So this one was kinda a big deal and I was only semi-emotional ;p

Dear Diary <3

I did it... It's done...

I gave the Junimos their final offering today...

I didn't know it was going to make them leave...

I'm feeling a bit bittersweet this evening about the whole thing...

The community centre has been restored at LAST!!!

The Junimos sure worked hard for all of us to have a place in town to be proud of... A place to spend time and make memories, not just with our friends, but the whole town... Together as a real unit...

But it had a cost... The Junimos are gone, back to the spirit world...

I don't know if I'll ever see them again... I've been crying for hours...

Happy tears as well as sad...

This special place has changed for all time...

KISSESxo


	27. Chapter 27

Dear Diary <3

Good GOD am I ever relieved!!!

Turns out it was just an old, broken down BOAT in Willy's back room, and not some random lady chained up and starving on the floor!! ^_^;;

And the repairs it needed to receive just happened to be right in my possession at the time!!

Which leads me to believe that I should try harder to clear out my backpack more often than I do... ;P

Anyway, it's been a few days since then, and the island that the boat can access now is....

Nothing short of a magnificent discovery!!

I've spent the last 3 days over there befriending the local bird population and this super cute lil boy named Leo!!!

HE'S LITERALLY A REAL LIFE TARZAN?????

He was legit raised by PARROTS after his parents drowned however many years ago...

It's so sad... but he seems to be doing pretty dang okay out there!!

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH ALREADY I JUST WANNA HUG HIM FOREVER!!!!!

I hope we'll get to be great friends someday...

Not only is THAT an excellent motivator, but the island is PACKED with secrets and hidden passageways, I can FEEL IT IN MY BONES!!!!!

I must make it a point not to get TOO obsessed with the place and make an appearance in town occasionally ;D

KISSESxo


	28. Chapter 28

Dear Diary <3

I canNOT believe the NERVE OF THAT MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I was just WANDERING AROUND near the back of town, MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS, when who should I happen to run into but Rasmodius himself, in ALL his magical glory.

And this guy.... I swear....

I'm FUMING RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!

So, not only has be been married in the past, which I knew, but I just ASSUMED HE WAS MARRIED TO THE MOTHER OF HIS DAUGHTER!?!?!?!

But. Apparently. This mother fucker. HINTED AT CHEATING ON HIS EX-WIFE, WHICH RESULTED IN HIS DAUGHTER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

NOT ONLY THAT, but the TRUE icing on the fucking cake of today?????

He! Asked! Me! To! Get! His! SHIT! From! Her! HOUSE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I mean, I'll probably end up doing it, but that's NOT THE POINT!!!!!!!!!!!

DOES HE HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT HE'S ASKING OF ME??? DOESN'T HE KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM AT THIS POINT?!?!?!?!

Or, felt might be the proper wording...

Well, I dunno if I'd go THAT far...

GAH, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO THINK RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

He might have CHEATED.... That's a pretty big deal to me...

But I'm still being eaten alive by jealousy for him asking me to do what he's too much of a COWARD to do himself!!!!

THAT FUCKING PRIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JUST BE AN ADULT ABOUT IT AND DEAL WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITHOUT ROPING IN PEOPLE WHO MIGHT BE HURT BY IT!!!!!

*sigh*

I'm just upset tonight... :'(

KISSESxo


	29. Chapter 29

Dear Diary <3

I finally freaking did it!!!!!!!

I GOT TO FLOOR 100 OF THOSE STUPID SANDMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINES!!!!!!!!!!!

It's taken MONTHS!! *SOB*

And I had to resort to extreme measures, because I COULDN'T MAKE IT NO MATTER WHAT I DID OR WHAT I TRIED!!!!!!!!!

SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!

During the 2nd most recent visit to that place, I took with me:

3 life elixirs, 4 jars of aged salmon roe, 2 crab cakes, 10 cauliflower, 12 blocks of goat cheese, 2 spicy eel dishes, 1 mega bomb, and 139 regular bombs!!!!!!!!!

AND YOU KNOW WHERE THAT GOT ME?!?!?!!?

FLOOR 87, AND BY THAT TIME IT WAS 2AM AND I PASSED THE FUCK OUT FROM SHEER EXHAUSTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I came up with the MUCH better plan of saving up rocks for weeks and weeks and weeks to create enough makeshift staircases to take me to floor 100....

I managed to get enough rocks for 39 of em', but then I was starting to get WAY TOO IMPATIENT to finish it.... I was dying of curiosity to meet this mysterious Mr. Qi...

He's been sending me the most bizarre requests lately and I knew he would be quite the interesting individual...

AND I WAS RIGHT!!!!!!!

Even though he reprimanded me for using so many stairs...

LISTEN BITCH, I MADE IT UP 61 FLOORS ALL BY MYSELF, EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF ME IF YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME AMPLE TIME FOR YOUR LITTLE CHALLENGE!!!!!!

*Inhale exhale*

The most important thing is I DID IT!!!!!!!!!

I feel so damn proud of myself, I think I'll treat myself to a nice glass of wine and fresh, creamy goat cheese!!!

YUM YUM GOOD!!!!!!!!!!

KISSESxo


	30. Chapter 30

Dear Diary <3

JEEPERS CREEPERS!!!!

These past few weeks have been a WHIRLWIND OF BUSY!!!!

I assumed, going into winter on my 3rd year, that my workload would start to mellow out a bit after I got myself into a routine, but NOPE!!!

There's been so much to take care of lately that I only got around to passing out bouquets TODAY!!!

I told EVERY ELIGIBLE IN TOWN that I wanted to see how dating goes!!

It feels a bit weird though... Other than them saying stuff like "Oh, I had no idea you felt the same!", nothings really... changed...?

I was kinda expecting to get into the kissy kissing right away, but it doesn't really feel like my relationship with them has differed in ANY way...?

It's a bit awkward 'cause they all have their own culture here and they all KNOW what to expect in regards to courting...

I feel like I've done all I can do to let them know my intentions, and now it's up to them to make the next move?

All I can do is keep spending time with them all and maybe just maybe I'll get a kiss soon ;)

Or maybe... something more...?

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

KISSESxo


	31. Chapter 31

Dear Diary <3

OMGOMGOMG!!!!!

I FINALLY GOT ASKED OUT ON MY VERY FIRST DATE IN TOWN!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm really excited about the fact that it was Elliott who asked me... I was hoping it would be him >_<

God, it was SO ROMANTIC!!!

It was such a beautiful, sunny spring day, and he surprised me with a BOAT RIDE!!!!

It was so unexpected, 'cause I had NO idea he'd been working on fixing that broken old boat!!!

The ocean was so glittery and there was the most gentle of breezes... The mood was PHENOMENAL!!!!

Anyway, after we talked for a bit about our feelings, he FINALLY FUCKING KISSED ME OHMYGODDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was so magical... He smelled like sand and salt and fresh air with just a HINT of manly cologne... It was perfect...

*DREAMY SIGH*

I'M STILL NOT OVER THE BUTTERFLIES!!! I CAN'T STOP SQUEALING AND BLUSHING!!!

I can definitely see a future with him... I just gotta see where my other feelings take me before I make any decisions...

Hopefully there will be many more dates to follow soon! ;P

KISSESxo


	32. Chapter 32

Dear Diary <3

Well... that was... an interesting experience...

I can't say I didn't see it coming though...

Sebastian invited me on a late-night motorcycle ride out to the outskirts of the city earlier!!

For my first ride on one, I think I handled it pretty well!! There was only minimal screaming ;D

Anyway, there was a kind of mood with the stars and the darkness and the city lights in the distance, so we kinda sorta started making out pretty hard... ^_^;;;

Eventually we ended up lying on the grass and I was straddling him (he WAS wearing leather pants, just FYI), and I really thought we were just gonna fuck right there on the ground, but then I noticed that he wasn't even REMOTELY hard...

I kinda snapped out of it and asked him if he wanted me to stop, and he nodded and apologized as if it was a bad thing, but I assured him that his comfort was FAR more important than a quickie in the dirt.

We both sat in silence for a few minutes, and then ended up talking for HOURS.

Turns out he's been having feelings for Sam for quite a few years now (I mean... I could kinda tell...), but nobody else in town was openly gay and he didn't wanna lose his most precious friendship, so he's been hiding them this whole time...

It broke my fucking heart to hear him sounding so vulnerable...

He told me that he's felt a tiny bit more confident since I moved in and started dating women and nobody has really reacted negatively to it... So it might be time for him to come out soon too...

Maybe it'll even work out with Sam, who's to say???

Anyway, he seemed to feel better after our conversation, and we ended things in a hug :)

I love him and I'm so glad that we're gonna stay friends! ^_^

KISSESxo


	33. Chapter 33

Dear Diary <3

HOOOOOBOY WAS THAT EVER FUCKING HOT!!!!

Sooooo I just got back from Haley's place...

She was working in her darkroom on some photos that she took of Leah's sculptures when I arrived, and she invited me in.

It was a pretty cramped room with 2 people inside, and it smelled like perfume and chemicals, but in a good way ;P

Being in such close proximity to her had me feeling things and when she said "what do you wanna do now...?" all sensually, I knew that she was thinking the same thing, so I pressed her against the wall and she grabbed my face in a heated kiss...

Her hair was so soft and the way she was breathing REALLY got me going, so I held her wrists above her head and started sucking her neck, and let me tell YOU that her surprised moan was one of the sexiest things I've ever heard in my life...

I used my other hand to lift under her skirt and her legs were trembling so I asked her if I could continue, and she nodded with a sexy little lip bite so I pulled her wet panties down and started stroking with a single finger...

We went back to kissing as I slide a few fingers inside and she lifted her leg to wrap around me which was ALSO MEGA HOT, and oh my god I had her practically screaming in seconds!

I had to cover her mouth since Emily was just in the other room, but that just made the situation that much more intense...

Anyway, after I licked my fingers clean, we came down from the high and giggled about how awesome that shit was ;P

She told me about how my strong, weathered farmer's hands had been driving her crazy every day, so we really needed to get that out of our system.

We agreed that it should just be a one-time thing and I feel pretty good about it. As far as closure goes, I've defs had worse ;)

She's been spending a lot more time with Leah lately since her art show in town, and I think those two would be a pretty good match. Especially since we both have working hands, which Haley seems to be really into ;)

Welp! Time to wash up and go to bed!

KISSESxo


	34. Chapter 34

Dear Diary <3

*SIGH*

I feel a bit melancholy tonight...

Penny invited me to the bath house earlier, which, WOW, that's quite a bold choice for a date, and I wasn't expecting Penny of all people to take me there...

She looked absolutely GORGEOUS in her strapless swimsuit... Seeing her bare shoulders got me a bit more excited than maybe it should have, but she always dresses in such modest clothing, so the fact that she was showing so much skin was quite alluring...

The steam and the water dripping off her body made me feel a bit lightheaded, but I tried to keep it together.

We ended up kissing for a short time, but holding her in my arms in that moment made me realize how small and fragile she is and I had to stop...

I apologized to her, but I explained that I didn't really see us lasting together and I didn't want to hurt her...

She started crying and I felt like shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!

But it turns out that she wasn't crying that I let her down easy, but the fact that she was actually in love with... MARU!!!!!!

I mean, I kinda saw that coming as well, but it took me moving to town and shaking things up a bit for them to come to terms with their hidden feelings...

One of the reasons that she'd never mentioned anything to Maru is mostly due to her STUPID FATHER!!!!

GOD, THAT MAN DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!!! AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY EITHER!!!!!

As soon as she said it, I knew EXACTLY what she meant...

When I first started becoming friends with Maru, the motherfucker actually had the GALL to THREATEN ME!?!?!?!

FOR BEING FRIENDS WITH HIS DAUGHTER!!!!!! JUST FRIENDS!!!!!

Like, if THAT'S how he treats people who spend time with his daughter, I understand COMPLETELY why Penny hasn't said anything...

She can be quite timid at times and she doesn't really like confrontation, so revealing her feelings for Maru might make Demetrius act all possessive and shit...

LIKE, SHE'S AN ADULT!!!!! STOP FUCKING TELLING HER WHO IS OR ISN'T WORTHY OF HER TIME!!!!!!!!!! IT'S NOT UP TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU, ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I encouraged her to at least think about confessing 'cause I will do everything in my power to protect her from that SONOFABITCH if he tries anything...

*SIGH*

It just sucks that all these people have all this love for certain people, but they're too afraid to rock the boat, so to speak, and so that fear of change stops them from living their best life...

I just hope that she'll take my words into consideration and go for it with Maru...

God knows she deserves to be happy after everything...

KISSESxo


	35. Chapter 35

Dear Diary <3

Woohoo camping is fun when you get to squeeze some boobs! ;D

Had a really cozy night with Emily last night when she invited me camping and CONVENIENTLY forgot her sleeping bag at home...

We decided to share and obviously there was some rubbing against each other to get comfortable, so things got a bit heated...

I told her that we could have a bit of fun if she wanted, but I didn't really see myself marrying her, and fortunately, a bit of fun was all she wanted anyway, so yay!

We didn't go further than 2nd base, but god DAMN she has some nice, perky tits.

We made out for awhile with some heavy petting, but by that time it was getting quite late, so we just decided to drift off into a cuddly, snuggling sleep together! ^_^

It's really nice that everyone seems relatively okay with just doing a bit of messing around without commitment...

I'm just a slut for all of them, so it works out JUST fine for me ;P

At least for now...

KISSESxo


	36. Chapter 36

Dear Diary <3

I've been to the mines a lot, and I mean LOT, of times over the past few years, but I could never have foreseen myself kissing someone there... ;P

I just went in for a quick bout to stock up on some gems, and Abigail was there too, which was a lovely surprise!

I knew that she was curious about adventuring down there, but I didn't think she was actually ready to attempt it!

Unfortunately, I walked in right as a swarm of bats flew around her and shattered her confidence!! D:

Fortunately, I was there to comfort her in just the right moment ;)

I held her and stroked her hair and all that calming stuff you're supposed to do to a person who has been scared, and it felt so nice to share her warmth in the cold caves...

She explained to me that the reason her feelings for me are so exciting to her was because I was the first woman she had EVER felt attraction to...

In which case, you could say I was her sexual awakening... ;)

Like a goddess of sapphism if you will, HA!

She told me she wasn't sure if she was ready to DATE me long-term, per se, but it would mean a lot to her if I was her first kiss... O_O

I've been WAITING to hear that since I first saw her lips in the moonlight...

She gazed into my eyes with such longing that I knew this kiss was going to be special...

I cupped her cheeks as softly as I could and watched her pretty pink mouth get closer to mine until we met in a kiss that was so tender, it created a lump in my throat...

The fact that I inspire them all to be true to themselves... JUST by being MYself... It's really an extraordinary feeling...

I walked her home hand in hand and kissed her one more time on the forehead before I left her...

I hope I'll be able to get over my feelings for her since she's given me her answer... She was a really significant presence in my heart, and I hope we can keep the strength of our friendship through this...

KISSESxo


	37. Chapter 37

Dear Diary <3

DAMN!

These ladies just can't seem to keep their hands off me!! ;D

Not that I'm complaining in the least...

But Leah FINALLY asked me out for a super cute picnic date!

It had laughing, feeding each other, all that sickly sweet fun that I absolutely ADORE!!!

UNFORTUNATELY IT DIDN'T END WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RIGHT when we got down to the kissin', we were legit interrupted by her EX!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARE YOU **_FREAKING_** KIDDING ME?!?!?!

I only got to feel her sweet lips for like 1 SECOND before this psycho crashed the party!!!

God... I get bad vibes from people sometimes, but THIS bitch gave me SHIVERS over how obsessed she was...

She came in all aggressive and shit, spouting crap like "I'm here to GET you to come back to me!!!!"

I was like AW, HELL NO!!!!!

She was talking so disrespectfully that I MAAAAY have gone a tiny bit too far and punched her square in the fucking face... >_>

I REGRET NOTHING!!!!!!!

Anyway, Leah was understandably feeling a little shaken by the whole thing, so I helped her pack up and head back...

I was a little uncomfortable by the whole exchange too, and I told her as much...

She said that was totally fine, and there are clearly some things she has to work through before starting another relationship so... We agreed to put a pause on everything for now...

Which REALLY sucks 'cause I'm looking to settle down and have kids in the near future... I don't really want to put my goals on hold while I'm waiting for somebody who may or may not be interested in being with me in the future, you know...?

*SIGH*

I have so much to think about... but I really do wish Leah the best, and I hope that she's able to get some good healing in over the next little while...

KISSESxo


	38. Chapter 38

Dear Diary <3

Shane = BIG NOPE!!!!

NOT acceptable relationship material...

He took me to a fucking SPORTS GAME today, which was a little jarring...

It feels like just yesterday I was watching him hang off a cliff, half unconscious, so I was still a little sensitive around him...

Fortunately, the game seemed to put him in a good mood and so I more or less had an enjoyable time... UNTIL!!!!

He grabbed me COMPLETELY out of no where, I wasn't even LOOKING at him, and he KISSES ME HARD?!?!?!?!

I was totally unprepared and taken aback, so I pushed him away as politely as I could...

I mean... I know we were on a date, but give me a LITTLE warning!!!!

CONSENT???? HELLO?!!??!?!

Anyway, my entire mood was spoiled, but I tried to grin and bear it 'cause I was afraid that he would notice how uncomfortable I was and relapse or something...

I know that's not my responsibility to keep his addiction in check, but I still don't want to PURPOSEFULLY upset him, you know...?

Which is kinda toxic on both our parts...

I really don't think being with Shane romantically would be healthy for either of us, so I think I'm gonna break it off...

Just as SOON as I think up the most gentle way to say it that I possibly can...

This man REALLY needs to spend a lot of time in therapy before starting a serious, committed partnership...

He needs to work through a LOT of inner issues, and I will do whatever I can to support him as a friend, but I'm not ready to put myself through it if his drinking DOES get the better of him...

*Sigh*

It feels selfish, but I have to think about my own well being and mental health so... I can't do that to myself...

KISSESxo


	39. Chapter 39

Dear Diary <3

God DAMN, that Maru is some kinda invention GENIUS!!!!

She literally BUILT a sentient robot?!?!?!?!?!

That kind of power and intelligence is a little intimidating...

And have I ever mentioned that I hate Demetrius, 'cause I fucking HATE Demetrius!!!

Maru was showing me MarILDA in the basement when the fucking ass comes STORMING IN, yelling at us to 'break it up'!!!!

GOD, HE'S THE WORST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He must still think of Maru as some innocent teenager, but she's a grown ass adult now!! If she wants to have sexy time with people, SHE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO WITHOUT HIM PLAYING THE "OVERPROTECTIVE DAD" CARD, GOD I'M INFURIATED!!!

WE WEREN'T EVEN TOUCHING IN THE FIRST PLACE, WHICH MAKES ME EVEN ANGRIER!!!!!

What if Maru WAS having sex in the privacy of her own basement room, and he barged in on her naked?!?!?!?!?!

THE WHOLE DAMN FAMILY WOULD NEED THERAPY BECAUSE HE CAN'T SEEM TO RESPECT HIS OWN DAUGHTER'S WISHES!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, we got the fuck out of there to get away from the prying creep while we let MarILDA go off on her own, and we ended up talking for a long time about how he's stifling her with his overbearingness...

We ended up kissing, but it was just a quick peck that had a rather casual feeling to it... I think it was obvious to both of us that we weren't really all that into each other, but we wanted to see what it felt like anyway...

I was very discreet, but I hinted at the fact that she might be better matched with Penny... ;)

The look on her face told me EVERYTHING I needed to know...

I've never seen someone light up like that so adorabley, and it's clear that their feelings for each other are reciprocated... >_<

IT'S FREAKING PRECIOUS!!!!

Maybe when Demetrius manages to get his shit under control, good things will happen for the 2 of them!!! :D

KISSESxo


	40. Chapter 40

Dear Diary <3

I think I just experienced the most awkward situation of my entire time in Stardew...

I ran into Sam on my way home from visiting Elliott at the beach, and he told me he had something important to tell me, so we went into his room through the WINDOW????

It felt a little sketchy, but I didn't think too much of it at the time...

He confessed that he liked me, but I wasn't the only one either so he didn't wanna date at this point in time, which I was totally fine with, so I suggested a simple parting kiss for our time together...

It was yet ANOTHER 1 second kiss before fucking Jodi announces that she's going to come into his room without permission, so he SHOVES ME INTO HIS BED AND TELLS ME TO HIDE?!?!?!?!?!

And then she jokingly accused him of MASTURBATING!?!?!?!

Well... I can only ASSUME that's what she meant, but it was still SUPER WEIRD THE WAY SHE SAID IT!!!!!

It was SOOOOOOOOO FUCKING EMBARRASSING!!!!!!!!

All these parents are still treating their adult offspring like BABIES, and I'm way too old to be dealing with that...

I mean, I knew Sam was a few years younger than me, but it felt like junior high or something!!!

I STILL CAN'T GET OVER THE FACT THAT HE LITERALLY HID ME FROM HIS MOTHER LIKE I WAS A PORNO MAG OR SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, any potential feelings I had for the guy were quickly extinguished in that moment 'cause he seems WAY too immature for a real relationship...

Which is probably for the best cause I know Sebastian is in love with him, and I wouldn't wanna get in the way of their happiness if Sam DOES feel like same...

He DID say there was someone else, so maybe there's hope for a little bit of romance between those 2!!

I will GLADLY support and assist them if it ever comes to that, but they both clearly have a long way to go! ;P

KISSESxo


	41. Chapter 41

Dear Diary <3

Awwww... My date with Harvey today was actually kinda cute...

The whole time with courting him has been a little odd since he seems to treat me like nothing but a patient of his, but apparently he DOES have genuine feelings for me????

I was able to cross "ride a hot air balloon" off my bucket list, which was pretty badass, but the poor bastard was TERRIFIED THE ENTIRE TIME!!!!

Why on EARTH someone would plan a balloon date when they're deathly afraid of heights is beyond me, but I had a pretty good time, all things considered...

He ended up kissing me, but I think it was more of a "I have to hold onto you for dear life to distract from the impending doom" kinda kisses...

It could have been more sentimental, but... It is what it is...

Afterwards, I thanked him profusely for the ride, but I told him that, since he IS my doctor, I feel like there's a power imbalance between us, so it wouldn't be right to see each other that way...

He seemed a bit crestfallen, but he took the rejection like a champ... ^_^;;;

I'm sure he'll be okay, but it might take some time to get over me... I am pretty hot shit, afterall... ;D

He's a sweetie, so he'll find someone in time, I just know it!

KISSESxo


	42. Chapter 42

Dear Diary <3

UGH UGH UGH I FEEL DIRTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE ALEX SO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN STAND IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't even know WHY I let it get so far with him in the first fucking place, since he's been a misogynistic PRICK since day one!!!!

I thought MAYBE, since Haley started acting nicer to me the more I got to know her, it would be the same kinda deal with Alex and getting to know him would make me forgive and forget all the skeezy behavior, but NOPE!!!

Tonight was the LAST FUCKING STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I should have known that a man who says he only wants to go to the beach with me if I'm in a bikini would be bad news, but I still wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt!!!

I WAS SO WRONG!!!!!!

Our date together started out pretty impressive, with him reserving a private room and even hiring Gus to play us a gorgeous violin song, but it QUICKLY went downhill.

This... pretentious... ignorant... egotistical... DICK had the UNBELIEVABLE CONFIDENCE TO ORDER MY GOD DAMN MEAL _FOR_ ME?????????????

He ordered himself a steak and actually had the AUDACITY to assume I wanted nothing but a KALE SALAD?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!

KALE???? SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?! THAT'S LITERALLY THE MOST DISGUSTING INGREDIENT FOR A SALAD EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so pissed, I'm literally shaking right now...

It's VERY obvious to me that he thinks that's what women SHOULD be eating on a date, and I was fucking APPALLED!!!!

WHO THE HELL HAS THE SHEER COCKINESS TO BE ABLE TO ORDER FOR THEIR DATE WITHOUT ASKING!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!??!

I didn't want to cause a scene in front of Emily, who was a perfectly lovely hostess for the evening, so I bit my tongue to keep from calling his ass out...

I had to finish the unsatisfying salad while the scent of the juicy, delicious dinner HE had wafted around my nostrils and made me SO SAD!!!!

At the end of the meal, I really just wanted to go home and eat some food I would ACTUALLY enjoy, but apparently BODY LANGUAGE IS LOST ON HIM AS WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!

He accompanied me on my walk back, even though I insisted I was fine on my own, which was yet ANOTHER instance of him ignoring my boundaries completely 'cause he thinks it's "polite" and "what a man SHOULD do for his date" or whatever kind of grossness goes on in his head.

When we were standing outside the house, I thanked him for the food and was trying to back away slowly so I could go inside, but every step I took backwards, he came forward like he wasn't even AWARE I was trying to get as far away from him as I could!!!

I was chuckling uncomfortably and trying to get him to leave by saying good night and all that, but, again, he's BLISSFULLY unaware of anybody but himself!!!!!!

And then... this mother fucker.... WITH STEAK SAUCE STILL SMEARED ALL OVER HIS FUCKING FACE, ACTUALLY GRABS MY FACE PAINFULLY AND KISSES ME WITHOUT WARNING!??!!?!?!?!?!?

I shoved him away IMMEDIATELY and was like WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!??!?!?!

DID HE ACTUALLY THINK THE DATE WENT WELL!??!?!?!?!?!?!

Special must have picked up on my rage, 'cause he put himself between us and growled like I've never heard him growl before!

WHAT A GOOD DOGGO I HAVE, MUST GIVE TWICE AS MANY TREATS TOMORROW!!!!

Anyway, Alex was, predictably, acting like the victim.

Swearing and spitting on the ground and saying what a waste of time I was and how he never found me attractive in the first place until FINALLY leaving...

Special stayed in front of me, teeth bared, throughout the man-child tantrum, and I am SO grateful that dogs are so sensitive to their owners' moods, cause who knows what would have happened if he wasn't there to protect me...

I don't even want to think about it... But needless to say, I will be actively avoiding Alex for at LEAST a few good months, and I don't see us having a positive association with each other ever again...

Well... can't get along with everybody...

KISSESxo


	43. Chapter 43

Dear Diary <3

Wow... what a wild ride these past few months have been...

Dating around has definitely given me a lot to think about in regards to my future...

I've been fiddling with this mermaid pendent ALL DAMN DAY, trying to make a decision...

Elliott seems like the most logical choice at present... He's super sexy, he's romantic and poetic... we have a lot in common since books are so important to the both of us...

And Abigail... God, I adore that woman... If she hadn't rejected me, it might have made this choice a lot easier for me...

But I understand that she needed time to adjust to her new sexuality and I would never dream about pressuring her...

And then there's Rasmodius...

UGH, just writing his NAME gives me feelings overload...

It's like a painful, pinching aggravation in my heart, ever since I learned about his cheating...

Well, not only that, but he never seemed to feel that way for me in the first place...

Which is probably for the better, 'cause I'm a bit irrational when it comes to him, so I may have said yes to anything, even if I knew I was going into a red-flag relationship...

GOD, EVERYTHING HURTS!!!

I really need to take the time to think about this, because it may be the most important thing I've ever decided in my life...

NO PRESSURE...!

KISSESxo


	44. Chapter 44

Dear Diary <3

I DID IT!

I CHOSE ELLIOTT!!!!!

HE ACCEPTED TOO, OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My heart is POUNDING right now, and it hasn't stopped all day!!!! >_<

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately, they like to keep things small here, so Elliott told me it would only take a few days to plan the whole thing...

I don't even think that's enough time for me to find a dress but...

I'M TOO EXCITED TO CARE ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW!!!!!

I'LL GET MARRIED IN A BURLAP SACK IF IT COMES TO THAT!!!!!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, ELLIOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ICAN'TWAITICAN'TWAITICAN'TWAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KISSESxo


	45. Chapter 45

Dear Diary <3

Wow... being married sure feels surreal...

Elliott is sleeping beside me as I'm writing this, and he looks so gorgeous I could cry...

The ceremony earlier was absolutely CHARMING!!!

It was short and sweet, but the whole town showed up to support us, which was lovely, even though I could tell it hurt some people to be there...

But oh my GOODNESS, my man has STAMINA!!!!

We started fooling around as soon as we got back home around 2pm, and lasted until WELL into the night!!!

Wow wow wow....

IT WAS SO HOT AND FUN!!!!

He sure knows how to use his hands, that's for damn sure...

I'm pleasantly surprised how good at foreplay he is... The other men I've been with just WAMBAMTHANKYOUMA'AM and then pass out... Which is probably one of the reasons why those relationships didn't last... ^_^;;;

I'm shivering just THINKING about it, GOD DAMN HE'S FUCKING SEXY!!!!!!!!!

My lips are still tingling from hours of making out, and that's not the only thing that's still tingling either... ;)

I have a lot of good nights to look forward to from now on... ;D

I'M SO LUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KISSESxo


	46. Chapter 46

Dear Diary <3

WELP!

GUESS I'M PREGNANT!!!

That was fast since we've only made love once... Seems not using a condom results in baby... <.<

I JUST DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD HAPPEN DURING THE VERY FIRST TIME!!!!!

Fortunately, Elliott and I agreed to try for children before the wedding, we just never expected this so quickly!!!

I may be in shock just a little bit...

I'm SO FUCKING GLAD I already had a nursery set up MONTHS ago... I always knew I wanted to have kids, so preparing in advance was a genius move on my part!!

Oh my gosh, it's gonna be so much fun thinking up baby names!!!

Wow... things sure are about to get a lot more lively!!!

A BABY, OH MY GOD I'M GONNA CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!

KISSESxo


	47. Chapter 47

Dear Diary <3

I'M HAVING A LOT OF MIXED EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAD A FUCKING BABY, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

A BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately, the little guy arrived SUPER early...

Harvey even suggested keeping him in the clinic overnight so he could keep an eye on him and make sure he's stable before coming home with me...

I'VE BEEN SOBBING FOR HOURS!!!!!!!!

I'm in pain, I'm overjoyed, I'm hyperventilating and shaking uncontrollably...

Elliott has been holding my hand all day, and I don't know what state I'd be in without his support...

We've been trying to narrow down the names to take my mind off my spiral...

Since Elliott and I love literature so much, we chose mostly names found in novels...

I'm starting to really become fond of the name Dorian... From the few minutes I had with my son before Harvey had to hook him up to a respiratory device, I think that suits him the best...

HE'S SO TINY I'M TERRIFIED OF LOSING HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!

God, I can't afford to think like that...

If I don't stay optimistic, I really WILL lose my mind...

KISSESxo


	48. Chapter 48

Dear Diary <3

PHEW!!!

It's been WEEKS since my last entry, sorry about that!

But things are much better!!!

Little Dorian is healthy and safe and thriving at home!!!

I've been a little worried and overprotective since Harvey okayed his release, so I haven't let him out of my SIGHT, but he seems like he's gonna pull through!!

WHAT A FIGHTER!!!!

I'M SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!

God, I didn't think my heart was capable of the depth of love I have for my child...

I would DESTROY THE WORLD TO PROTECT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Elliott has been a little... less enthusiastic than I've been though...

He's been saying some odd things lately...

Stuff like "caring for babies isn't my strong suit, but I'll try"?!

Like?!?!?!?!

Yeah, I should HOPE you'll put effort into raising your own kid...

It irked me just a bit, but... I love him, so I'll forgive him...

I'm sure he didn't MEAN anything by it... I have to give my husband the benefit of the doubt if we ever stand a chance ;P

KISSESxo


	49. Chapter 49

Dear Diary <3

Hoooooooooooooooo boy...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh no...

I think I may be having... second thoughts... O_O

Things with Elliott have been... off lately...

Ever since he left to go on his book tour, he behavior has seemed really different to me...

He's been acting a little cocky and quite condescending...

The first time I noticed this was in one of the letters he sent me while he was away.

He said something like "Try not to get scared all alone in that big empty house!'

Which I'm SURE he said in a humorous tone, but like...

I was living alone for 5 years before we tied the knot?!?!!?!

OBVIOUSLY I wasn't gonna be scared???

But that wasn't too big a deal, so I just brushed it off.

Ever since he got back though... It's been annoying comment after annoying comment!

It ranges from "will you be okay without my help today?" to "I hope you don't mind if I stay in today!"

And yeah, I KNOW they're just harmless comments that he probably means well by saying, but STILL!!

Does he forget that I am a perfectly capable woman who was doing PERFECTLY FINE on her own before he moved in????

The farm is BOOMING and that was all MY hard work and dedication that made it that way, and the fact that he seems to have no faith in me seriously hurts me...

God, it's like he's been treating me like this helpless housewife, and it's really insulting!

I dunno... Maybe I'm overreacting... I'll get over it, I'm sure...

Having doubts is normal, right?

It happens to everyone...

...Right?

KISSESxo


	50. Chapter 50

Dear Diary <3

  


I'm at my wits end... I truly don't know what to do here...

Things with Elliott... are NOT good...

A few weeks ago is when things really started to go downhill...

That day, after I had spent the entire morning completing my daily chores (which consists of brushing every animal, milking, collecting eggs, cleaning the barn, cleaning the coop, and feeding Dorian), I went into the kitchen to kiss my husband, but he totally snapped at me out of no where!!!

And get this, he actually said, TO MY FACE, "Don't you have work to do?!"

HE PRACTICALLY SNARLED AT ME!!!!!!

I was COMPLETELY taken aback and I tried to ask him why he was so angry and explain that I just spent hours working on my tasks, but he refused to even talk to me anymore for the rest of the day!!!!

A few days later, I actually fucking caught him walking to the god damn STORE while Dorian was home ALONE!!!!!

I obviously called him out on it, saying how utterly IRRESPONSIBLE it is to leave a baby alone for ANY amount of time, and ANY baby book will tell you that!

IT'S THE MOST BASIC PARENTING RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, he basically brushed me off by saying he was just stocking up on a few things from Pierre's and he would have only been gone 10 minutes, BUT THAT'S PLENTY OF TIME FOR SOMETHING TO GO WRONG!!!!

ESPECIALLY SINCE DORIAN IS IN HIS CRAWLING STAGE NOW, LIKE IS HE KIDDING?!?!!?!?

And that hasn't been the only time he's been in a bad mood recently, and every time it happens, he always seems to take it out on me and he REFUSES to talk to me about his problems...!!!

If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that relationships can't succeed without respect and communication...

I just feel so lost... I feel like the man I love has turned into a completely different person since we got married...

Or... maybe... the person I thought I loved was just an illusion I made up in my head...

All this time I was thinking that he was romantic as HELL, but maybe he was just pretentious and I was blinded by my attraction to him, so I put him on this pedestal...

And judging by the way he's been talking to me, like I'm some helpless damsel in need of his big strong hands to solve my problems... it makes me feel like he's looking down on me in some way...

Like I'm one of the weak, submissive women in all his romance novels...

It's very possible that, while I may have been romanticizing him, he was romanticizing me as well...

Of course, there's no way for me to know for sure 'cause he won't TALK TO ME!!!!

I'M SO FRUSTRATED!!!!!

I guess this life isn't quite what he was expecting... maybe he misses his peace and quiet by the ocean... the solitude that comes from not having a responsibility to another person...

I used to calm my negative thoughts by running my fingers through his hair while we drifted off to sleep, but I think this is bigger than what soft hair can do for me...

I need to think about my worth and what's best for my son...

And if ending things with Elliott is the way to ensure our future safety and happiness...

I'll do what I have to...

  


KISSESxo


	51. Chapter 51

Dear Diary <3

It's done... I just signed the divorce papers this afternoon...

We... We didn't even last a year... :( :( :(

I guess it was foolish of me to believe that our common interest in books was enough to hold a marriage...

Now that I think about it, that was probably the ONLY thing we had in common...

He even seemed a bit relieved when we were discussing it, though of course he would never admit it out loud...

Looks like I was right about him not being ready for a family... he moved back to the beach about an hour ago...

It's so strange... I know I should be sad about it, but all I feel is numb and exhausted...

A bunch of people visited me when they heard, and brought over all kinds of sympathy gifts...

I'm just grateful for the fact that they're not blaming me and siding with Elliott... I was VERY anxious about what their reactions would be, me being the newest town member and all...

But I've had nothing but support and empathy... Abigail was the first one at my side and having her look after Dorian while I got everything organized made everything seem... a lot more manageable...

I think I'm gonna take Dorian on a little vacation to Ginger Island for a couple weeks... we both deserve some time away...

Thank GOD Marnie agreed to watch my livestock for awhile...

I should probably go over and thank Rasmodius at some point before we leave... If it weren't for him allowing me access to his magical teleportation blueprints (the ONLY upside to helping him with his ex), and his suggestion to talk to Krobus about the Return Scepter, the trip would be a lot more of a hassle...

Too bad I had to spend millions of dollars for them all... Ah, well... I can make that money back in a few months... And traveling will be a CINCH now, so I shouldn't complain...

Anyway, I think I'm just rambling now... My brain is a little bit fried...

This first night without Elliott is gonna be tough... maybe I'll just sleep on the floor in Dorian's room... At least then I won't be so alone...

KISSESxo


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is sexy. Don't read if you're not prepared ;p

Dear Diary

I'm going to make this entry as descriptive as I possibly can... I never want to forget a single detail of this night...

It's been about a month since I got back from my time at Ginger Island, and it was so refreshing. 

When I was back in my own beautiful home, I honestly felt more motivated to work hard than ever before, and I kept myself so busy that I hardly had any time at ALL to think about Elliott.

All my friends offered babysitting time, since I didn’t have Elliott to help with Dorian, and I love them all so much… It was truly touching how ready to help me they all were…

Anyway, knowing my adorable son was well taken care of, I was able to get a shit ton of work done using the teleport pillars I got from Rasmodius as well as my pristine return scepter.

I got the hang of them pretty quick, and now I hardly walk anywhere anymore :P

I can literally ZIP to the island-to the desert-to the beach within SECONDS and it’s really upped my productivity!

The magic is nothing less than extraordinary and I cannot get enough of it!

I couldn’t stop myself from thinking of Rasmodius every single time I teleported, and it started to make me feel how I did when I first learned that magic existed…

Exhilarated, breathless, powerful…

I don’t know why I did it or even how I came to the decision in the first place, but after finishing up in the sand mines around 9pm, I found myself rushing to his tower…

It was like a dam burst and I basically confessed everything to him…

My feelings of want for him over the past several years, my anger about his past, the fact that I always wanted to make an impact, but never feeling like I was enough…

It was quite a show…

I admitted that I was in a place right now where I needed a good rebound, I was VERY clear about that, and if there was EVER a time where he noticed me as a woman, then I wanted him to take me right then and there for a single night of passion…

I know my heart may not fully trust him, but my body sure as hell does…

He absorbed it all for a few seconds, and I didn’t dare rush him ‘cause I knew I kinda bombarded him with the whole thing…

He told me he had been thinking about me a lot recently too, especially when I used the pillars. Apparently, he can actually sense whenever someone is using magic nearby, and he was quite impressed at the fact that I was so dedicated to using magic in my daily life.

According to him, most humans either stay away from it completely due to fear of something going wrong, or when they DO use it a lot, they get terrible dizzy spells to the point where it’s not even worth it.

But the fact that he’s recognized that I’m utilizing it to its full usefulness has made him seriously consider me as his next apprentice.

I was like, that’s all well and good and I will be happy to accept your offer as soon as you answer my question…

His eyes bore into mine for what felt like hours…

Just when I thought he was going to reject me and send me home, his eyes flickered down to my lips and he stepped closer to me until I could feel his body heat…

I instinctively reached up and placed my hands on his chest as he cupped my face and kissed me softly…

I tried to stop the embarrassingly loud moan from escaping, but after waiting for this for so long and holding so much back, my body was ready to bare to him every reaction he brought forth.

I didn’t even notice that he had flashed us up to his bedroom until he lay me gently on the bed. With a snap of his fingers, candles lit all around us and I inhaled the scent of warm sandalwood and pine.

He never took his eyes off me while he slowly removed his cape, then his robe, until he was standing before me completely nude.

My heart was pounding in my throat and I couldn’t stop staring, so he took the liberty of materializing my clothes off for me, which was one of the most erotic things I have EVER experienced…

He started caressing all over my body, looking for the places I reacted the strongest… He was shockingly attentive… If he found a spot that made me moan or bite my lip, he would linger on that area a little longer…

I never expected him to be such a… gentle and observant lover… 

I dunno if it was just the intensity of the moment or what, but it felt like his hands were increasing my sensitivity… His fingers created sensations I had never felt before… It MUST have been his wizardly abilities ‘cause it was FIRE.

He had me begging for him in less than 5 minutes…

Fortunately, he didn’t make me wait any longer and I literally saw stars as he started thrusting in me (no seriously… he made his room look like the night sky… it was like we were fucking outside it was SOCOOL)

I think at one point we were levitating, but I was so lost in his movements that I could barely focus on anything but the pleasure…

And when I say you haven’t LIVED until you’ve experienced an orgasm from a mystical being, I mean it ‘cause I came harder than I think I ever have in my LIFE…

I’m blushing to death and my heart is pounding painfully just reliving it in my mind…

Anyway, when we both finished, he held me close for a few minutes to let me catch my breath.

We talked for a short time and I told him that he had given me just what I needed and I’m glad I was able to get these lustful feelings out of my system…

But I realized… once is enough and I don’t want to complicate things further, ESPECIALLY if I become his apprentice… So, with one more kiss, we agreed to never again be with each other that way…

He carried me home and kissed my forehead before disappearing from sight in an instant.

So, that’s pretty much everything…

I feel strangely at peace… All this time hoping and praying and WISHING for just a little bit of attention from him, and now I got it…

I’m so glad it could happen at least once… Now I’ll never have to spend my life wondering what could have been or how his body would feel pressed against mine…

I feel… I don’t even know…

Content? Accomplished? Happy? A tad bittersweet?

Maybe a little bit of each?

All I know for certain is I need sleep right about now… I’ll take more time to process my emotions in the morning…

KISSESxo


	53. Chapter 53

Dear Diary <3

Phew... things have really settled into a routine lately...

After the divorce, my one night stand, getting used to raising Dorian on my own, I really thought that things would never get back to normal again!

Fortunately I was wrong and I'm starting to feel like I'm back to my old self! ^_^

I have Abigail to thank for that, mostly... She's such an amazing person...

Every time I was starting to get lost in my own head or starting to feel really down about being a single parent, she always seemed to show up at my door...

She's been offering so much babysitting time for Dorian that I think the two of them are really beginning to like each other!

Dorian always smiles like crazy when he sees her, and it warms my heart that the two of them have bonded so easily!

I have full faith and trust that nothing will ever happen to him while I'm away at work as long as Abi is there...

It's truly taken a huge load off my mind!

I've also been working closely with Rasmodius in the last few weeks!

I've read more books about magic than I ever thought possible, and I can tell Rasmodius is proud of my progress in learning the secrets of the mystical world!

It's super surprising, but I think we've actually become MORE comfortable with each other since that night and it's a lot simpler for us to communicate!

Funny how that works sometimes...

But my farm is pretty much complete at this point, and I cannot BELIEVE how much I've worked to get it just right...

Never in my wildest dreams could I have expected to accomplish so much in just 6 years!

I have a completed greenhouse that I've been utilizing to it's FULL extent, I have a storage hut filled to the brim with crystalariums workin' round the clock on producing diamonds, and my house is HUGE thanks to Robin adding tons of rooms for me!

Wow... WHAT A LIFE!

I wouldn't trade this for anything else!

I cannot wait to see what else the future can possibly hold for me!

KISSESxo


	54. Chapter 54

Dear Diary <3

I. Cannot. BELIEVE. WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO ME!!!!!!

I had literally just put Dorian down to sleep for the night, when who should show up at my door??

Abigail!

In the freezing rain!

I was like WTF so I invited her inside and made her a mug of hot chocolate immediately, and before she had even taken the first sip, she blurted out that she was in love with me??!?!?

LIKE WHAT?!?!?!

Obviously she's gotten her confusion out of her system and now she wants to try going steady and seeing how it goes????

I honestly couldn't even answer her right away cause I was just mindblown!

I've wanted her since the first day I met her...

The sparkle in her eyes, the way her soft hair rustles in the warm, country air...

God, this woman!!

It's always been her, I see that now...

We talked ALL NIGHT about my past with Elliott and why I don't want to rush into another marriage too soon, and she spent hours consoling me and ensuring me that she would never want to do anything to pressure me and we could just... be together and have a good time and see where it goes from there...

She's so understanding... and open...

I'm so glad that we're finally on the same page in regards to our feelings!!!!

I'm nervous though at the same time... I don't EVER want to screw this up!!

God, I wanna kiss her all over her face right now, but I gotta do this right...

With her, it's forever... I can feel it...

KISSESxo


End file.
